This is gonna be a really short post. Gonna upload pictures. Pictures of my adorable cousin (:
Her name's Anja. She's damn adorable la. My sisters and i kept telling her ' do this pose, do that pose'. Lol. She just posed for us to take. Lol. This was taken when playing Squash.







Act cute pose






















Model pose
























Don't know what pose.
































I look pretty fugly here cause i was sweating. Lol























The number 3 pose.




















My sisters and I with Anja.
She's the center of attention.

And so the streetlights will guide me to you
Back where it all started.



Went to my uncle's place yesterday. I love my little cousin to bits la. She's effing cute uh. (: I recorded her voice. Told her to say ' you got a message.' But she keep saying ' i got a message'. So damn cute la. Haha. Somore she knows the types of cars la. Alot of my relatives were there. My dad's side always speak Malay. They are peranakans. In other words, so am i. Anyway, my sisters and i were talking about the past. We were saying that there was once my dad forgot about me and left. He used to drive a lorry. And thinking i was behind, he just drove off. When he reach home, my mum asked' where's the small one?' Small one referring to me. My dad was like, ' Ai yah shit. I thought she was behind the lorry.' My mum screamed la. Lol. And i still remember that i was still looking for my dad la. When he came back to find me i started crying la. Cause he forgot all about me. Lol.
Oh & .. Al surprised me yesterday. No wait, it wasn't a surprise. Haha. I found out anyways. He called me asking me to open the door. He was so happy thinking i didn't know. I just gave him a face la. Lol Effing funny. Not even close to being a surprise la. Okay, maybe just alittle. Just to make him happy. Haha. (:
Okay i gotta go already. I'm off to watch the Lasalle dance concert. (:

And every time i held you close
Yeah, were you even thinking of me?
When i needed you the most
Well, i hope that you're happy



GAH! I miss Scottie ): Sighs*
Anyway, my mum went overseas for business. She bought alot of food back before leaving uh. Lol. Omg! It just came to me that i haven't done the prom stuff. Ahhhh! I'm like so slack la. Lol. Okay i gotta get myself together and start working! Still have to do the video and all. To think i'm free after exams. Okay gotta go now. Bye my faithful readers. I'm off to play squash ! (:


I'm sorry for making you cry.
But i warned you before we started out.
Yet, you choose to stick to me.
It took me this long to realize how much you actually love me.
Now, i know.












I know i sit until very obscene la.
This is how Nadine looks like in school
Wearing pink socks
I'm not sucha goody girl afterall eh? xD














My twin sisters.
Their're both thieves
One stole my dress, the other stole my neclace

















Alfred took this of me when i was sleeping
& his the only one that likes my laughter.
So weird right.

I left school halfway during recess today. Had to put Scottie down. I cried on my way home. As i carried him in my arms, it just came to me that this was my last time being able to embrace him. My last everything with him. I held my tears back, but it just kept overflowing. He was shivering all the way. Waiting for my mum outside the house, i knelt down beside Scottie and just started weeping, telling him that i'm really sorry. He looked at me in agony, he practically just stared at me throughout the whole journey. It was as if he knew what was gonna happen to him. He hid his head under my arms and looking up at me once in a while. It just broke my heart. Once we reached the vet, tears just flowed even more. Mum kept telling me it's okay. How on earth can i be okay? I'm putting him down. I'm not gonna see him, NOT EVER. Waited for 5 minutes, and his time came. I walked into the room, and held him so tight. I refused to let go of him. The vet asked if i wanted to witness his death? I was thinking real hard if i should. In the end i didn't. I put him on the table, patted his head and just turned to leave. I couldn't hold back my tears anymore. Furthermore watch him die. When i turned back to have a last look at him, he struggled to run towards me, looking at me in a really sad way. I so wanted to take him and just run out of the vet. I walked really fast with my head down. My mum caught up with me and i just broke down in the middle of the road. She hugged me telling me it's okay. Honestly, i don't see how it can be okay. I want him back, i really do. That'll be my birthday wish. Bring him back to me. The whole scene of me turning my back on him, and his reaction just keeps replaying in my head. Now, his gone. The thought of not being able to hear his constant barking, the adorable look in his eyes, his accompaniment, is haunting me. I just can't get that scene out of my head. I've cried almost the whole day, there's nothing i can do to get him back. So don't tell me 'death is part of life'. Cause that'd just make me burst. Right now, i'm missing him so SO much!
God, bring him back to me please. ): i really want him back. )): This feeling sucks.
I miss Scottie ): Walking pass the kitchen, i can't help but to stare at the empty space. No more newspapers, no more water bowl and food bowl. Worst of all, i don't see Scottie there.
): I miss him. This feeling is killing me. I really do love him so much.
































































When i was 8 years old, with Scottie


















































































The last i ever saw of him. ):

I claimed i didn't care for you
But your verse got trapped inside my head
Over and over again
You played yourself to death in me


His constant heavy breathing, his swollen paws, his red eyes.. His suffering and i'm being selfish. I can't imagine carrying him in my arms, and handing him over to the veterinarian. Knowing that i'm sending him to his death. I can't stop crying, i can't sleep. He may just be a dog. But to me, his not "JUST" a dog. His more then that. His part of my life, always have been. I love him so effing much. But his sickness can't even be cured. Scottie's got 3 more days to live. Yet he doesn't know what's gonna happen next. I feel like i'm a murderer. I can't do anything to help him ease the pain, but to watch him in grieve. Seeing him lick his paws in agony and the look on his face, just hurts so damn bloody much. He can't even sit properly. All i can do now is to spent all the time i have with him till Thursday. Just feel so darn sorry for him. It's effing heartbreaking to see him like that. But that's a part of parcel in life right. Somethings just don't last forever.
Last night i covered him with a blanket, and sat him down on a chair. I sat on the floor and just patted him. I wanted to take a picture. Before i press the button, he suddenly turn, looked at me and kiss me on the lips. In other words he licked me on the lips. And he just looked at me. I know to some it's sick, but to me it's adorable. How am i gonna take him to the vet this Thursday. He was leashed to a box while my part-time maid was clearing his area. What shocked me was that despite his weakness and pain, he dragged the box all the way to my room just to see me. The look in his eyes just makes me feel like hugging him so tight and never letting him go.
Till now, he follows me everywhere i go. Be it in the bathroom, he'll be waiting outside. Even if his sleeping and he sees me get up of my chair, he'll still follow.


You Made a scene & Left me t clear up after you.

F it, you don't feel my pain.


Went Out with Al today. Studied in the afternoon then went Suntec City to get what i bought online. Lol. Have been shopping online. Cause most of the stuff online are hard to find, plus it's unique. (: Anyhoos, Al's really nice to me uh. He treats me so well. I feel guilty sometimes. Lol. Seriously, his sweet la. Ahhh! I want an SLR camera damn badly. But it cost1000 SGD.
Anyway, 4-2 half went converse warehouse sale today. I wanted to go but couldn't ): . Nvm. There's still many more hols to come and i can go out with them. Oh & .. For those of you who are wondering what's 4-2 half, it's a group. Kenneth, Irfan, Justin, Yifu = The 4 people. Me(Nadine) and Javier = 2 halves. Why we're halves? Cause they say we're the smallest. So insulting la. Lol. Anyway, i needed to buy something from the Converse warehouse sale. So they helped me. They're really sweet la. They stayed there so long just to find the shoe. Sending me a pic of it and all. Haha. (: They rock la.
Exam ends this Tues. After Tues, i'll be happy like jbdbnvjhsnf !
So those of you who has been asking me to go out, i'm free after 9th October. ((: Wheeees.
Gonna go gym & jogging tmr. Till then .. (:

Pciture time. Just some random pictures.






How can i put something that adorable down. It's just to difficult, too pain.



















My robot, that's being held hostage by WeiHong.
& i want it back. Lol.











Conversation with Elmo.

Like a hopeless child
My mind's in a whirl
I'm totally abandoned by you
And i'm hanging on a thin thread that's about to break


DouDou hid under my mum's wardrobe. Lol. She refused to come out uh. Lol
I feel so sorry for Scott la. My mum keep wanting me to put him down. It's not easy la. I know his suffering, but i love him alot la. ): Ahhh! Don't know whether to put him down or not eh. Everytime i see him i tend to tear. His really in a bad condition. There's a picture of him below. It's sick, but .. That's how sad it is. I really love him to the core uh.
Sometimes not everything can last just cause we want them to. Letting go of something i adore so much, has always been my weakest strength. Now, it's back to haunt me.

I love the way you love
But i hate the way i'm supposed to love you back
And i'm not sure how i'm supposed to feel
Or how to say it back.

Gaaaahh ! Exams started already. I don't know what on earth is wrong with me ! I'm supposed to study and i'm like so relaxed! Omg omg. I'm in deep shit la. Wth! Omg. GAAH! Nadine needs to focus! jsdhsgjabdjsdjsbd.
Oh & .. People keep telling me i'm emo. Wth right? I'm NOT emo la. I always smile okay. Seriously, stop telling me i'm emo can. Lol. I don't know whether to laugh or to cry at such a comment uh. I just told them ' What, you expect me to be smiling 24/7 uh? Please la. ' Okay this is really dumb. So again, NADINE'S NOT EMO. Even if i'm not smiling does not mean i'm emo okay.
P.S. : That picture is taken by Nadine. ((:


M:Mum
N:Nadine

M: If you get the E.A.G.L.E.S award ill reward you with something big.
N: What thing? You know what i want uh?
M: Trust me, i'm your mother. I'll definately get you something you will like.
N: But you know what i want uh? I want an SLR camera. ( i slurred when i said this )
M: Just trust your mother.

Lol. I SO hope she get me that. If she does, i'll hug and kiss her all over. Or if anyone gets me that i'll do that too. Hees. ((:


24 MORE WONDERFUL DAYS *

Reading to you about my thoughts from my diary
I expected you to say something in return
Yet you chose to stay silent
If i'd known, i would have never spoken a single word


Yesterday went for dance class with Wei Hong & Louis at Studio Wu. Saw quite afew people i knew on the way. Anyway, learned popping, locking and hip hop. The hip hop was okay uh. Cause i already know the basics. But hip hop is more to my preference. Popping must really have the muscles. Locking is fast. Popping's fun uh. Haha. After dance class went Suntec to walk around. WeiHong damn crappy la. Lol. His damn comical. But his dancing is not bad. We ate chocolate fondue! ((: He stole all my marshmallows la ): Ordered another plate of stuff to dip into the choc, and when i wanna take the marshmallow he snatched it away from me. Lol. Somore the fruits i dip into the choc keep dropping. Before i can even poke the fruit with the stick, he hurry eat it up. Lol. Selfish right. Haha. Louis ate all the bananas cause i don't like. After that Al came.
Had tuition just now. I reached so early uh. Had tuition for 3hrs30mins. Craap uh. Damn long. Gonna have tuition again this Wed. Exam starts tmr. ): Haven't even started studying yet. Ahhhh! I'm panicking yet i'm not doing anything about it. Lol. Miss Toh nominated me for the 'EAGLES' award. Hopefully i get it. Which is why i HAVE to study if i want the 'EAGLES' award.































I don't think i can take the pain anymore;

With a movie star face, and the perfect lines
Oh boy i wish you were mine


Finally had a meeting with the prom night people. But doing the execution is another thing. Lol. Anyway, went to the flea market last Saturday. Bought some stuff. Finally got a bag!! (: Haha.
Went for a make-up course. Lol. Mum made me go. Anyway, benefited alot from the course though. It was interesting. The person teaching was a guy from Australia who appeared in the mag recently. Forgot his name. After the course she turned to me and said ' Go see what make up you want then can get for you'. I was shocked la. My jaw practically dropped onto the floor. Lol. Cause those of you who know my mum, she don't allow me or my sisters to put any make up. She's kinda strict uh. And the make-up is from 'The Make Up Store'. Damn ex uh. Products from Sweden. Mum spent $422 on make up. Effing ex. And after that ate at NYDC for supper! Ate ' That Boney Cake' ! Damn nice ! Hees. (:

1 MORE MONTH TO MY BRITHDAY!! (((((((:



I'm not afraid of death, as long as i'm with you
You are the other half of me
Vow upon this day, this moment
That i'll love you with every ounce of breath i take till death
And baby, you do make me smile (: