went fer our skul's ndp rehearsal todae to hlp out(AVA). we were setting up d mikes n stuff, hafta test d mike if it's working, i din noe dey oned it n iwas like playing wit d mike saying ' nadine rocks nadine rocks' NON-STOP !! n dey suddenly on d mike, n i said it so loud den ppl were like luking at me. lols` den dat harris cum n ji siao me. but still, its a FACT dat nadineROCKS ! :))) lalala` stupidd . x)) so tooting boring lahs d rehearsal .. i rather do smthing ekse like watching tv rather den do dis. den dere were 3 bands waiting to audition on hu will get in. end up cos all 3 bands don haf drum set, so todae's rehearsal fer dem canceled. lols. n dey waited frm skul end until nearly 6. fer d bands, it will b postponed ta anotha dae. i hope dat e1's band` black academies will get in. he wans it so badly. he'll b really overjoyed if his band gets in :))) il b happy fer him. i wan him to b happy. x)) yups.

smhow im so in LOVE wit dis chinese song sang by donoe hu, but title coled zhi dui ni shuo !! ahhhs` faints-* its such a NICE songg. actually i only like d chorus ! :)))
saRangg hae yo zhi duii ni shuo ` i will lOve eu n fereva moRe ..

[saRangg hae yo means ii lOve eu]] -*

d feeling of loving smwan so much n being wif him fer so long feels so gud bcos i've been wit him fer so long. along d way we haf obstacles n we breakdwn but we pick orselves up agn n strt frm where we stopped.

its been a few mnths n d bickering n squabbling between d both of us nvr seems to end. we broke n patched many tymes . everytyme we broke my heart shattered into pieces n i felt like my happiness has turned into sadness. wen we patched back tgth .. my sadness bcums a sense of happiness. i don wan anything to happen to our relationship. i love him so much to let him go agn. i've decided to spent d rest of my life wit him n only HIM. im sorry if i've eva hurt u but i nvr did mean to hurt u. i js wan to b loved by u n to b cared by u even more. i feel insecure wit u. everytyme we quarell my world falls aprt.

now anotha girls n guys cums into d picture n sm of em breaks us dwn. but still we forgif ech otha n we choose to trust ech otha. but todae, d things u said to me out of anger left we speechless. has ur trust in me faded awae ? .. i've nvr eva lied to u b4 . mayb i did a few tymes , but darling dat was a long tyme ago. n i nvr did it agn eva since. i don wanna hurt u anymre cos i noe wad it feels like. everywan noes wad d feeling is like , it SUCKS ! wen i hear ur voice, it draws a smile on my face. d sense of elation in my heart, d inside of me screaming out ur name.

dere's dis guy guy hu admitted dat he likes me, n at first i didn't believe him until he bcam really serious abt it. i was shocked, yes. i didn't wan to tell u at first cos i tot dat u mite b angry n i wasn't so sure yet. d dae i knew d truth i told u d nxt dae. its not cos i wan u to b jealous or anything. but it's cos i don wanna hide anything frm u bcos u're my boyfriend n i don think dat it is rite fer me to hide anything frm u. i told dat uy dat im sorry but we can only frens cos i love my boyfriend n i don wanna do anything to hurt him. dat guy was sad, yes. but he understood. now we r js close frens. n i hope u don mind e1. cos i noe where not to cross d line. u don hafta worry cos we r js close frens now. trust me. i don wan us to fall aprt js bcos of all dis. i wan us to stick like superglue.

one last thing, i love u n only u. todae onwards, wadeva u sae il do. il try all waes n means to make u happy n not o hurt u. but if in anywae i haf hurt u, im sorry. all i ask for is for u to love n care fer me. for us to b close like d elephant supaglue. i love being close to u . it makes me elated.
i LOVE u alot !!

[irwanad] -* couples fereva`

hais. d feeling of not toking to him fer 1 dae maakes me miss him so much !! i really miss him so much. i really do. i js love him so much. dats y i wan us to last. cos i j love him so much. :)) i really do. nowan can tear us aprt. i js love u so much. :))

hais. i really really donoe wadda do. i don wanna do or sae anything anymore. todae i was supposed ta go jamming wit his frens n him . i got ready n was alrdy at d bus stop. but he din even msg me or col me at all . so i msged his fren n ask if d jamming waas still on. n actually it was cancled. i was tooting pissed. i coled him n he js woke up. it was 1 plus lahs . urghhs ! n he still can sae ' u get angry ova such a small little thing for wad ? ' like wtf lahs .. u din even tell me dat u cancled d outing u told all ur frens xcept me. n u still can sae dat. n u tk so lng to sae sorry to me. wtf is wrng wit u. y isit dat u ms owaes OWAES hurt me. yes i put dwn ur col cos u really pissed me off. n u expect me to col u back cos put dwn ur col ?? u put dwn on me owaes wen we quarell n i OWAES col u back. n now wen its ur fault i hafta col u back?? u donoe wad its like to b deeply hurt ova n ova agn. n i hafta do everything ur way. it hurts so much ! wad is wrng wit u lahs . n u don even botha to col me back. u don even botha ta msg me. everydae i live in sadness. hurt by u ova n ova agn. i don even noe y im crying now. god ! i js wished dat i'd nvr et u. everytyme u sae u'll chng, u wun. honestly im hurt by u SO MUCH .

i haf a bestfren hu undastands me so much. his like everything dat i wan in a guy. but he can only b my bestfren n nothing more. his d only wan hu undastands me. its sad to sae dat my own boyfren doesn't even undastand me at all.

ytd went ta d s'pore idol thingy. we got free tickets ta go. smwan gave mr kamil 150 tickets. n he gave to d students n chers. so cool !me, naplese, jh, py n zana went tgth. dey all met at my hse. dey make so much noise lahs .. hahas. we tot we were gonna b late so took a cab dwn. we got into d mediacorp theatre n we were sitting rite bhind d JAY FANS !! sadly we weren't really supporting jay. we support jaokim n gayle. but gayle was out last nite. so .. yeahs. rite bside us were pual fans. jay fans n paul fans were like competeing hu scream d loudest. so irrataiting lahs. lols. den e1 n his fren were standing at d stage dere. so lols` afta d whole thing ended den dis lady jay fan came up to us n asked if we wan free tickets den js tell her she'll get us free tickets. so kind . den e1 was bhin me i din noe n he said yes. so if we wanna watch agn den we js gotta gif her a col or smthing. :)) blessed ` aites. i din go skul todae. was too tired lahs. x)
here r sm picswe took b4 n during s'pore idol.

things haf not chnged since. i js wished dat u wld understand me n realise dat d things u do r hurting me so deeply. it hurts so much. u said dat i was ova reacting, to me i noe im not. if u wld js once not owaes blame me n luk at wad u did wrng, dat'll b gifing in alittle. u sae i don gif in, aren't i gifing in alot alrdy ? wen u scold me i js kip quiet n stae calm. yet even tho at tymes it's not my fault i sae sorry. did u eva think b4 u sae or do antyhing to me. why isit dat afta so long we still js can't get along. 2 months, n im still in dis pathetic state. y isit dat weneva u get angry u vent ur anger on me. wen i tell u d truth, u get angry i undastand. but isit my fault ? i wonder y i love u so much. i wonder y i shed those tears ova u. isit worth it ? did u even noe wad happen b4 u actually sae anything. i noe dat i hurt u alot last tyme, but now im sorry. n im chnging. i js feel hurt by u everytyme. im gifing in so much, too much dat my heart's aching so much. i wish i had smwan to listen to me n tok to me abt my probs n lend me a crying shoulder. one hu'd cheer me up wen im dwn. sadly, dat person isn't u. u sae u care .. but do u really ? how many tymes haf u comforted me wen im sad ? i can't even rmbr wen was d last tyme u comforted me. cos it seemed lyk nvr.
i wanna get out of dis . did u even noe dat weneva i was toking to u on d fone im crying ? i can't bring myself to get hurt by u anymore. but smhow i noe dat even if i tell u all dese, u wldn't even care nor do anything. u'd js sae sorry . weneva u turn ur back on me, tears js roll dwn my cheeks
non-stop. i wanna BREAK FREE frm all the hurt u've been gifing me. 2 mnths n i don even feel happy at all. u said dat u'll chng, but it was all js lies. borken promises afta one anotha. to sae ' i hate u ' to u, wun do any gd. its not like u care. rite now i wanna b happy. but u stole my happiness frm me. pretending to b hu u wan me to b for 2 mnths, n u wan more. it hurts to hide all my upsetness n put up a fake one n smile js to please u. i feel lyk i don even noe hu i m now . YOU hurt me so badly n yet u donoe abt it. one last thing, but bcos i love u so .. il still gif in`

haven been blogging fer quite a while. anywaes, fer d past 3 daes din go skul cos i hadda hlp out in a gymnastic thing. at first i tot dat i wld b intresting. unfortunately it wasn't at all. d strting was. but afta tt it was BORING ! lols` 3 tooting daes i hafta go. d gymnastic girls all dance d same steps n its d same song ! wth lahs .. i was plaeing d music d whole dae. den nxt wik is guys artistic. i going 3 daes. wed thurs n fri. honestly i don wanna skip anymore lessons. im afraid i wld sate back. n i wanna do well in all my subs. so many things in my shecdule. tution training .. den d gymnastic thingy. but i can cop .. i think. my mum gonna sign me up fer d studio wu dance. FINALLY ! yays ` i've been waiting fer so darnn long. i've been pestering her since last yr :))) happiness -* whheeees ` i kinda felt pissed wit him todae. he msged me in d morn i di n reply den he cldn't b bothered to msg me agn. so .. urghhs !! i toked to smwan todae n kinda realise lotsa things frm her. decided ta gif in more . so decided ta let go abit n not owaes hold on ta him. im nobody ta control him anywaes.

i haven't tok much abt emerge. so now i wanna sae sm stuff abt it. it's gonna b a long post. hahas. alrightt.
dae 1 :
we had a nite session
dae2 :
we hadda morning session den in d afternoon dere's sm events going on. den in d nite session agn. it was really good !! d nite session we had lotsa surprises. guess hu came to sing ?! KELLY POON , JUN YANG, and TAUFIK !! everybody was so shocked lahs . hu wld expect dese top singapore singers to cum n sing in our church . n d 3 of dem aren't christians . d most shocking response was wen taufik came out. but he hadda most response frm d crowd. everywan was lyk so DARN highh ! dey were rally rocking d plc lahs . really loved d whole perfomances ! n d sermon was oso good . everything was so SO good ! d presence of God was dere .
dae 3:
had morning session n agn in d afternoon dere was sm events going on. mostly all competitions.
in d afternoon had talentime. i love d dances. rocks. joyous perfection was superb. den dere were lotsa singing . too much. sm ppl were sleeping lahs .. lols` i was hoping dat dere were more dancs. den d band playing , 2 guys d beat boxing. it was SO SO SOO darn nice !! ahhs ! so nice lahs .. how i wished i cld hear it agn. heesx` den in d nite session sun came backk !! ahhs .. everywan went crazy n d whole congregation all stood up n clapped so hard n loud!! den she came out n sang n everywan took out deir hdfones oned it n strted waving i ard. it was so cool ! she's so thin now. love her songs. she rocks.
dae 4:
had morning session too. den afternoon same thing. den nite session. d nite session was d grand finale. prize gifing. but i prefered d last 2 nites. it ws more lyk a grand finale. cos pst sun came out to sing agn. niu nai came tosing wit her . donoe hu's dat. lols` yups. den afta dat had sermon den went home.

here are sm pics of d emrge conf .

todae was d GRAND FINALE of d emerge 2006 conf. it was okae lahs .. i prefered ytd's wan. it was more lyk eh grand finae den todae's wan . yups` but overall d whole emerge conf was POWERFUL ! loved it. cld really feel d presence of GOD . wanna strt afresh. its gonna tk really long but i noe dat it's worth it. afta todae's emerge, dad came to fetch me n twins den we went to eat. seriously i was hoping dat he wldn't comment anything abt me n my sophisicated life. obviously he did. urghh-` i js don lyk to tok abt my life. i hate it. HATE . hais.. dere r smthings dat r meant not to b said. n mayb i js don wanna do anything abt it cos dere is NOTHING dat i can do. n wadeva my dad saes, not all of em r even true. anywae almostall is wrng lahs .. he can se wadeva he wants but i noe truth. dats wad matters to me. dats all. was so pised wi him js now.

back frm camp. didn't njoy d sec 3 camp at all . it was so darn boring !! d camp was done by outside intructors. dey weren't even good. we went to changi to camp.1st day we were seperated into groups. thank God i was wit sm of my class ppl. total dere were 10 grps. i was in grp 6.
1ST DAY :
grp 1-5 will go to pulau ubin to cycle ( bike trial)
grp6-10 will do river rafting at changi . we gotta build our own raft wit pipes , ropes n floats. d pipes were big n long one . it was quite fun lahs. but mking it was tiring. getting it on water was fun . cos we gotta get on our rafts. even tho my grp's raft was like so , koyak . but it still floated. otha den river rafting .. d WHOLE dae we plaed games or js sit ard. which was extremely boring !! SO SO boring. technically dis whole camp is very slack.

2ND DAE :
grp6-10 go pulau ubin n grp1-5 will do river rafting
so we cycled in pulau ubin . kinda fun but afta awhile its tiring. we took a bumboat frm changi to pulau ubin. afta dat we ate our lunch dere den cycle agn. but only 40 ppl is allowed to cycle. so my grp decided not to cycle. which was a bad idea. d journey to a certain plc was SO long. n back too. we wok back alrdy is very long , n we somore wok d wrng way. plus d sun shining at us , really hot. den we took a bumboat back to changi. in d nite we hadda "campfire" . mdm aini n sm chers came to watch. we all did our grp cheer. d "campfire" was not even fire. it was js 3 torchlites. so pathetic. hahas. afta dat d camp commander said dat since we were so gd dey will gif us freetime. so no litesout. no timing too . d 3 chrs in chrage came to check on d camp. n students were woking everywhere. so dey were shocked. n it was alrdy 11+ n 11+ is d tim fer litesout. so d camp commander coled d students back n told dem ms go back ta sleep. so couslers hadda miting. n we all gave out points abt d instructors. it was horrible. dey don haf time management , responsibility, deir're MAJORLY boring . ai ya` d whole camp's boring lahs. hahas. waste my $70 only. d 2nd dae i ton d whole nite wit d counslers. we crapped alot. den jp went ta sleep so left me n grace. den afta dat grace n sm of d otha counslers went back to deir chalet. so lucky. den left me n sm othas. den 1 by 1 most of em knocked out . so left me aiman n christopher. den it was 5am + alrdy. den dey don lemme sleep wan me to not sleep for d whole niteuntil 6am which is d time d campers wake up. hahas. gosh` afta 6am dey left. everybody woke up. i sat slept on d chair fer a short while den d nepalese came. hahas. den afta a very lng time den we went back to skul den home.

HOME SWIT HOME !! :)