dis is one of d SWEETEST AND ROCKINGG days of mah life !! :))) everytime i wok out of d hse going to skul, i owaes hope dat i my bf will surprise me by waiting fer me at my estate dere. dats y i owaes luk fer him, even tho i noe dat he wun b dere. but todae, i went out of my hse, as usual .. filled with grief and sadness. noeing dat my boyfriend is in d hospital, hu has already been dischagred. even den his still not completely well yet. i got dwn onto the 232 bus n saw him sitting at d bus-stop. d moment i saw him, i smiled. i was so happy like shit !! x)) wheesx .. my class peeps luked at me wen i woked in n said " happy lahs .. e1 cum back skul rite ." hahas.i was so happy. i was smiling . todae im so happy. lalala` im so happy dat his backk !! hees. =) okae lahs . i LOVE him ta bits ! toadae he brot me to shop & safe n took so many chocs to buy fer me den i asked him " you very rich ahs .. buy so many things. " he replied " no lahs. wanna buy for you mahs.. " i said " wahh. u cm out of f hospital so much $$. go back to d hospital. " he bot me most of my fav chocs. he asked me to go out wit him tmr. BOOHOOS !!!!! im so so SAD !! cos i can't go out ! im grounded till d end of dis mnth !! :(

BLASTT UR STEREOS !! x)) hahas. i love dis song. so cool lahs. lols` tokyo drift soundtrack song. i wanna watch click, the break up, tokyo drift, and nacho libre. so many movies i wanna watch. todae's CT paper was mathematics. whines-* i knew how to do those qns dat ca really score and i had no tyme to do em. i left like 3 qns i din do lahs .. urghs ! n i did quite afew careless mistakes. really praying that i'll pass my mathematics. tmr' physics and chem. lata gonna study. has` haven even strted alittle lahs. lols ` lalala*
a pretense of emotions to kip you in the dark -`

2 days ago was d x-country. it was said to b a really hot day then. first tyme running in d B division. i was so afraid .. nervous. cos i wanted to get top 5. n i tot dat sm of d fast runners were running, but dey weren't. sm doing counsler duty, n d sec4s don hafta cm cos dey haf d eng oral. so dere were like fewer competitors i was against. running half wae i kinda got really tired cldn't go on. until d highway i woked awhiile den run. but eevry tyme i wanna tk a rest for awhile to wok, i turn bhind n i c charmaine bhind me. so i kept on telling myself i can do it. until d turning point, up d slope dere i felt lyk vomitting. i "cried" . den i ran until d finishing line. got 3rd. yay ! hahas. den d senior boys, i was cheering fer sm otha ppl too. waited fer e1. den saw him running, d moment he ran pass me knew smthing was wrng wit him. d wae he run lyk got smthing wrng. n he fainted rite infrnt of d cones.he was 4th. but wen he fainted he dropped to 9th. ppl hlped him up, but he cldnt get up cos he was unconcious. half of him was concious. he crawled near to d finishing line n fell agn. seeing him crawl i felt so sad. wanted to hlp him but wasn't allowed. in d end mr loh n sm others carried him across d line. he was sent to d hospital. den i n louis took a cab dwn. i wanted to receive my prize .. if he was dere. but he fainted. so yeahs. i gotta shock wen he fainted. i stood still , didn't noe wadda do. in d end i went a him lahs. todae his being discharged frm d hospital. so happy for him !! hahas. visited him fer d past 2 daes. his frens all came too. so many ppl. 22 came on d first dae. rest were his relatives. mr kong came to d hospital to gif me n e1 d medal. so nice lahs !! beta den last yrs wan. real metal. x))

im glad his okae now. he msged ashraf to tell me : " tell nad thanks fer everything. she's the best girl i've eva got. tell her thanks for being with me all dis tyme. love her.. " so funae lahs. at least den i was happier. now i js got anotha prob to settle. nvm. anywae, my hdfone line is cut . so can;t use it anymore. im so tired. haven had a gd slp. todae strts CT. todae is eng paper. not so bad lahs. i am praying for distinction. i wanna get top :)) high expectations of myself. lalala` i miss him so much !! i love him too !

ytd got d firwrks at esplanade. wen wit e1 but we quarelled n ended up watching alone. den he wenta find his frens. he dn even botha a find me. so irraitating. he made me so pissed. afta dat i coled him cos i wanna tok to him . so wen ta find me. n i kept beating him cos he really pissed me. anywaes we're okae alrdy .. but smhow i still feel so sad n hurt. i donoe why .
here's sm of our pics at we took tgth .. :)) enjoy

IM SO HAPPY !! YES I AM ! :))) let me blow u awae wit my thrillion smiles !! hees` x)) e1 really has chnged. :) im happy like toot. he did sm things which he has been hiding frm me fer a few wiks. n he confessed ta me b4 ytd. i can't sae wad he did .. but i forgave him. but i was upset wit him. i met him d nxt dae to haf dina wit him. i gotta shock wen i saw him. he wore so formal. i was like wearing hme clothes. worse den casual. sucha outkast. lols` he combed his hair to one side, so neat lahs. so hadnsm. faints-* lols` sm things i ought not haf done but did. but i did it for a reason. n its nvr gonna happen again eva ! i promise . he promised me too. he told his frens not to tell me abt wad he did. i tot so anywae. nihoos, later dere's firwrks. donoe wad italy firewrks. den tmr dere's france firewrks. kinda cool. wanna go c. later gonna c wit irwan. =) finally lahs . lols` going ard 5 plus . im really happy now. i wanna stae lyk dis fereva wit him. im praying n wishingg dat my happiness won't b drained out by sadness n hurt. cos im happy where i m now tgth with him. he makes me really happy . his my prince -* i love him so SO MUCH . his lyk my happiness. no wait. he IS my happiness !! whhheeesx ` my hunaye n i !! he may not b my longest stead, but his the best stead eva ! we're on our wae to b d longest stead. halfway dere. =)) heesx. lalala-` i don care wad ppl think or sae abt me , i don gif a shit. sae wad u wanna sae it doesn't affect me. but if u take him awae frm me, mark my wrds. u'll b getting hell frm me.

sm girl took him awae frm me once. n now im not frens wit u. i don even wanna b frens wit u. u backstabbed me n i hate backstabbers. u did many things bhind my back thinking i wldn't noe. r u dat dumb to think dat i wldn't find out ? but still in d end i did. now i hate you. cos u took him awae frm me. even tho its partly his fault, i blame you too. sm ppl used to tell me nvr to share any secrets wit u cos u're a bigmouth. but i didn't tk dem fer real cos i really liked you n rite now , i don. seeing u spoils my mood.

honestly, i still m hurt by dat very act d both of u did. cos u two were once a couple. hafing to pretend its okae weneva i c her is like cutting my wrist , my insides screaming out ur name in anger. dats how i feel. but its ova. so il leddit go . i let it go cos of e1. cos i love him.

everytime we hafta go out you owaes cancle on me. every single time. you don even noe how it feels like to be so happy at first thinking dat i can go out with you. but towards d ending you tell me dat you can't go out wit me cos you haf other plans. it really hurts. mondae was our 2nd mnth anniversary n you cldn't go cos you haf rehearsal n i had training n i wldn't mind not going for you. but i can't n i understand n i don mind. tuesdae we were supposed to go out but u had other plans with ur frens. nvm abt dat cos ur frens asked you first. den wednesdae we were supposed to go out but ur dad din let you cos you hadda go for ur family outting. so nvm. den thurs, which is tmr .. you can't. or rather cos you haf to make ur passport its a must. n u wanna mit me afta dat but i don wanna cos by d tyme u mit me, it'll b so late alrdy . so wads the use of miting me for such a short while. not worth it. i wanna go out with the whole dae not js half a dae. urghhs` it really shattered my heart. i really wanna go out with you. i really do. i haven't had the tyme to be with you to see you or to hug/kiss you. i really miss you so much. i wanna be with you to spent time with you. but you owaes haf plans. it really really hurts so badly noeing not to go out with you. i don even noe why im crying lahs .. f***

haf been trying to contact him since js now until now. i feel so frustrated wit him. hais-* i wanted to go out wit him todae but cos his frens alrdy asked him first so he went out wit dem. d tone of ur voice wen i asked u to go out wit me u sounded so sad like so reluctant. dats y i let u go. our 2nd mnth anniversary we din even celebrate, i only got to b wit u fer 1 hr 30 mins. dats tooting short. nvm. but u did make me happy ytd. todae u din. u made me feel so sad. dats y d whole afternoon i slept. n i js woke up. i feel so stupid. y do i owaes hafta cry ova u ? .. tmr u can't go out wit me to watch d fireworks. i've been waiting since last yr to watch wit u cos last yr u watched it wit ur frens. dis yr u were supposed to watch wit ur frens which made me really upset . everything u do u ms do it wit ur frens. don u eva think abt me first .

ytd i tot dat maybe we are gonna b okae. bcos u said :" i will chng, i promise. dis tyme i promise u n i mean it." it took me really long to convince myself dat il trust u dis tyme. but u shattered my heart agn. smtymes i wish u had no frens at all . but too bad, im not so heartless. it doesn't matter if u donoe wad i did fer u todae. i js wish dat one dae wen u find out, dat'll b d dae u strt treating me like YOUR GIRLFRIEND. i really donoe why i let myself trust u agn. honetsly, dere were firwrks js now. i felt so demoralised. so sad. cos i've owaes wanted to watch d firwrks wit my boyfren. n js wen i tot i cld, it was being snatched awae frm d palm of my hands. i guess i wun b seeing u or toking to u dat much anymore. u're js too busy . u hurt me so deeply dat d scars u created will owaes remain in my heart. d 2 cuts on my hand, everytyme i luk at it i feel so stupid. i owaes think , y did i cut myself. i feel so dumb. cos d scar will owaes b dere. n last nite smwan toked to me n said smthing to me which smhow i din noe y but it really touched me n woke me up . eyes were watery wen he said dat. he told me y shld not do things to myself like cutting or brusing myself. thanks :))

i believe dat 'll chng dis tyme. i don't noe y im trudting u dis tyme , but i noe dat everywan ought to haf a second chance. fer u , a thrillion hances. hahas. wells , i do wan things to wrk out btwn us of cos. i js wan us to last , dats all. but not js fer d sake of us being long tgth. dat wun b worth it. but fer us to love one anotha whole heartedly. n be happy too. dat'll b bliss to me. =)) cos i love u so -*

anywaes todae had foto tking. first wan was d cca counslers wan. gosh ` im like d 2nd shortest amongst d cca couslers juniors. so malu. lols` den we took a pic. den afta recess tk agn fer class foto. im d shortest. x( not 2nd but 1st. lols` i realy ms grow tall. i din noe i'd b d shortest. can't blame me, it runs in d family. hahas. d x-country's cuming soon ! ahs-*im scared ta death. cos like i really wanna b in d top 10 n fer d b division n in dat division i've got so many competitors. ahhs-* really hope i get top 10 . my stomache beta not gimme probs. but smhow i noe it wld. i js wish dat my stomache wldn't owaes b d one dat goes koyak. hahas. cos once my tummy's pain i can't run . i haf ta jog. which slows me dwn. oh wells. hopefully, m praying. hahas. =)) lalala` so happy ! my ss test gt 10/12. my n theo gonna compete fer d CT . c hu get highest. :))

had d national dae pardade rehearsal again. lols` so BORING !! oh wells. den aftadat wen fer training, but alrdy ended. hahas. phew-* smthing happened ta 2 of d softballers so d timing was dragged. den afta dat prob was settled den FINALLY went ta kfc to eat . it was alrdy like going 8pm wen we were at d bus stop.so funny lahs d nepalese. kept luffing n luffing.i LOVE dem to bits. so comical. by d time i rched hme, it was alrdy 9:43pm. mum "scolded" me. im kinda grounded. can't watch tv, tok on d fone, or use d comp. im using it now cos i smuggled into d comp witout her notice. SMART ain't i ? .. x) iROCK -* lalala` smhow his strting to chng fer d beta alrdy. im GLAD. im js praying dat he'll b nice to be js as he is now, foreva ! :)) smiles-` todae trainng saw dem doing diamond drill . urghh !! i wanted to do diamond drill ! dangg -* nvm. mebbe nxt fridae i guess. anyhOos, im kinda tired now. tmr going out wit e1 n frens jamming. js hlp dem n stuff. cos deir're a new band. e1's sorta like deir coach. all 3 bands in d ndp parade got in. dats good news. mebbe dats y his so elated n so gud to me dis few daes. hope he staes liddat till eternity.

i don haf mah fone. my mum took it awae .. again. lols` oks. anywaes, ate at KFC wit e1 todae. mum wans to c my cher dis tues. urgh` so pissed wit her. nvm. watched d soccer match between chers n students. kinda xciting i guess. quite a nice game ta watch. at least not so boring. e1 came back to skul to find me cos me n nepalese nurul jh kinda pulled a trick on him. i influenced dem into. :)) oks. gtg. i not supposed ta use d comp. my mum n bro eating durian outside. YUCKS !! stinkss -*