nadine

sighs* i know i'm not stable. i just can't stand the fact that he always treats me like this. i always tell myself that i wanna change. changing in the ways of not being so close to him, be more independant, let go of him, and not always be so darn paranoid. but it's not easy. and i just can't help it. somehow i know that things aren't gonna be okay. and i so badly want it to. but things don't just happen the way i want it to. i'm no princess. plus, it's time i change. even though it's gonna hurt or if i don't like it. i can't do anything. :( BOOS* just feel so freaking depressed lahs. all i want, are my friends to perk me up when i'm down. but i don't want them to know whenever i'm down. and most importantly, for my boyfriend to be always here for me on my constant call. to love me whole heartedly. i don't wanna lose him again. seriously, i don't. i love him so so much. and i don't know if he realises that. everything i do, ALWAYS has a link to him. it's just not obvious. i just love him alot lahs. just hate the fact that i've got so many bad habits. being paranoid SUCKS ! sighs* cries/