nadine

i think i've made up my mind, which is to wait for him.. PATIENTLY. i'm gonna try and keep myself really occupied. so that i won't think so much and to prevent me from doing anything else.
sighs* plus, since we've both agreed to be best-pals, i might as well start acting like one. maybe during the june hols irwan will bring her and i can meet her. just for fun tt's all. to know her. i won't do anything to her, don't worry. it's not like i have the word EVIL stuck on my forehead.
now i'm in the middle of MYE. worst thing is tt i didn't really study. somore it was my MYE tt made me stay back. so i dont wanna repeat the same mistake. scared. ): boos*
don't know la. it just hurts so SO much. i really feel damn depressed. like i don't know what to do. ):
everywhere i go, whatever i do, there's this burden in my heart tt brings me down. i just want him to treat me good and nt like a stranger. i know he doesn't, but everytime i see his friendster i feel like crying. it really really hurts so much ): IT'S REALLY REALLY PAINFUL! tt's why now adays i hardly use the comp. )):
i need to brighten up my life, but how? what's wrong with me? .. i'm so messed up. i watched this show on star movies called ' CRAZY/BEAUTIFUL'. it's freaking nice. when i watched the show, i felt like i was watching my life. it's about this girl whose so messed up, has family probs and there's this guy who she loves alot. one day he was asked to leave her life. and there's this other girl who likes him and keeps flirting with him. she asked him whats wrong and he said he has to focus on his studies. she was devasted, like duh! then after awhile, he realised she is the one whom he wants to spent the rest of his life with. he went to find her and they left. ok, its really long. check he LIFE newspapers everyday. and if you see it, watch it !!! well, hopefully my ending will be like the show's. PRAYS hard.
i will wait for him. cause i've been thinking abt it and it dawned upon me tt his the one who i love. the one who i want to spend the rest of my life with. and i've never had such strong feelings for anyone before. and his tt guy. and im not gonna let him just walk out of my life. if only the girl, sha, knew this then .. i mean i just hope she understands how i feel and what i mean. ): sighs* tt's abt it anways.

i need a miracle to happen; the light i'm seeking for seems beyond my reach ):