nadine

it takes time for a wound to heal, but a scar will remain forever. )):
there's a saying ' in life there are ups and downs'. tell me why in MY life, there are so many downs.
and the 'downs' in my life are coming from 1 source -irwan. sighs* he just still don't get it.
after so many talks, his getting from bad to worse. somehow i got a feeling that even if we last, it's not gonna be a good one. cause being happy comes from the heart, and not by force. yet i'm forcing myself to smile. he keeps pushing me down when i'm getting up bit by bit. and after awhile i just feel like giving up, and i'm already half way there. i just wish that he wouldn't treat me so badly. cause it hurts, yes it does. to the core. and i'm controlling my feelings. i'm TRYING to. if there's just one thing i could ever get, this is what it'll be : for irwan to stop hurting me. 'don't you think it's time you stop all your nonsense and start waking up.' i want him to make me happy.
that's all i ask for. for the person i love so dearly to stop hurting me and start treating me better.
))): you just don't get it do you ? .. do you know what it's like to cry myself to sleep ? do you know how painful it is to be pushed down by you time and time again? do you know how frustrating it is to have to keep telling you what to do or not to do?
DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH YOU'VE PUT ME THROUGH ? ): i'm hurt, deeply.

i want to be happy, i do ! i hate being in this state for SO long. it's almost a year, and i'm starting to give up. i seriously can't stand the fact that i'm always upset. i ca't bear the pain, I CAN'T ! )): i can't concentrate on my studies in this state. i want to study but i just can't keep my focus.

): thesoftwhimpersofagirl;iloveyoutoomuch )):