my b'dae is in 3 daes time. wad i really wan fer my b'dae .. is to spend it wit d ppl i love. i was hoping dat e1 wld go out wit me during my b'dae. but cos his ga go visiting , so .. i guess i won't b going out wit him den. i wanna go clubbing. but cos he noes hu i'll b going wif, which is y he doesn't wan me to go. it's my b'dae, so im going stl no matter whut. anywaes, ive strted wrk last undae. it was cool !! so tooting fun lahs . hahas. really love it. im doing banquet. at raffles convention centre. the palza or smthng lahs .hahas. training's dis wed n fri. i really can't wait!! i love my new position to bits !

5 MORE DAYS TO MY BIRTHDAE !! x))

i retain. sighs* d whole level including na n express, abt 25 plus ppl retain lahs. sighs* stupid lahs !!

ahhs* i lyk tooting love dis song lahs. i wanna learn how to plae d guitar den one dae, il plae it fer e1. x) really gta find smwan to tch me tho. hahas. coyote ugly song , sang by leann rhimes. coyote ugly's a nice show lahs. ROCKS !! hees. anywaes, i've strted wrk last sundae wit jac, k7 n his frens. it rocks! so fun ! whees. hahas. really love d job. on saat im gonna do OT. can't wait man ! :))
todae went out wit e1, happy. bot NEW WALLET n HDFONE POUCH !! yayness* hees.

my exasm haf already strted. gonna end soon. yays* i wasn't really in a gd mood todae. smhow i js can't stop thinking abt todae's math papers. urgh !! math paper 2 was so diff lahs. lyk out od 20 qns, i only noe lyk.. 10 ? n wad if those 10 i don get rite ? .. il fail. nn i don wanna fail my math. i studied. i did . n somore i left out a 8 mark qns. lyk wth man , i feel so toot up lahs. im praying fer a miracle. seriously i am. todae he send me to skul tho he din haf paper in d morn. den he went back. he came skul to fetch me hme den he went back to skul fer his afternoon paper. sweet . anywaes .. i really don wanna retain. il blow my brains off. cos im planning to pass my eng, comb humans, chinese , math n F&N. but unfortuantely, i donoe how to do so many subs.
dis few mnths i haf been trying to find smthing .. smthing to cover up d scars in my heart. trying to pick up d broken pieces of me. it hurts so much to b in dis situation. it hurts lyk hell. n u wanna noe d worse prt ?! YOU ! how many fucking times do i hafta sae ? U DON LISTEN ! WHERE R UR EARS? DO U EVEN HAF ANY ?! LYK WTH MAN !! ISIT FUN TO HURT ME ?! ISIT FUN TO IGNORE ME ? IS DIS A GAME TO U ? I REALLY WISH DAT U'D JUST C DIS !
DEN U'LL NOE. MARK MY WORDS. I'L NVR GO BACK TO U EVA AGN. N EVEN IF I DID, MY FELINGS FER U HAF ALRDY FADED. TOO BAD. JS ACCEPT D FACT DAT I CAN;T STAND U N NEITHER CAN U. TO THINK DAT U WERE D RITE WAN FER ME WEN HONESTLY, U'RE NOT. N I DON REGRETT DOING WADEVA I JS DID. FUCK OFF MY LIFE N DON EVA CM BACK. YOU ARE D DEATH OF ME ! YOU HURT MY FUCKING HEART ! THANKS TO YOU .. DUDE !

todae me n jac was d mc fer d briefing of d graduating classes. i was really scared. but den again.. i got over it. x)) it was a great experince . but i din sae much words thos. me n ac will b the prehost fer d grad nite. can't wait lahs ! x)) whees. wen i was toking i was refraining frm luking at irwan. lols` cos i noe dat i will luff :))

im trying real hard to let go . but u're restricting me from doing so. doesn't it eva get to u how hurting it is to cont dis path wif u wen it seems lyk dere's nthing much we can do anymore. smhow sayings n quotes are kinda true if u think abt it. for eg , if u're too close to ur stead, u tend to demand more, u get angry ova small things n strt to quarrel. dtas exactly how we r. don u c it ? wad do i hafta do to open ur eyes ? im a liar i noe. i deceive myself in saying dat i can let go of u, i wan to n all. but honestly, i don't. i can't live w/o u. my life will b a bore w/o u. i wldn'tnoe wadda do w/o u. n to think dat u'd b so dumb to actually believe dat i can live w/o u. i used to hate it or gte angry wen ppl sae dat i surely can't live w/o u. do u noe wad dat is lyk ? to b criticised by ur own frens ova ur own personal life. cos honestly, dat sucks. im trying real hard to get u off my mind. but everytime i do, u cm back haunting me. it's killing me in d inside . it's burning up all my sense of elation. i don't noe wadda do anymore. i've been hinting u abt our relationship going to zilch. but u nvr do tk it seriously do u? it's nt even normal fer one to love anotha in pain . many mnths has oready passed .. wad more do u wan . im not okay . im not .

i haven been on d comp lately. im busy .. busy slping. lols` i on't noe why i kip slping so early. n wen i say early .. it's really damn early. i lyk slp frm 4 plus till nxt morn where i wake up n go to skul. lols` so pig rite ? den wen i wanna do my hmwrk or study.. i can't. cos im slping. gta discipline myself man !! x) anywaes todae went jamming wit e1 frens n all. den went to bishan cos i hadda buy smthing. ended up watching a movie cos he felt weak n it was lyk 5.22pm den. so i bot 2 tickets n wtach " john tucker must die " . d movie strs at 5.20pm. so it was lyk a quick decision. so wen we're watching it'll kip him off his mind frm fd n by d tyme we finish watching it'll b 7 n he can eat. 7.02 d movie ended. d movie rocks. js dat d last prt was kinda awkard. watch it !! it rocks ! x)) anywaes.. dis thurs me n jac gonna breif d upper sec on deir grad nite. how'd i feel ? .. don ask. im scared. scared to death !! so so so so nervous lahs ! ahhs* x)) but happy. nervous. happy nervous. x)

yayness* finally got hold of a job i wanna tk. anyhoos, kaeseven ( i don care,i create my own version ) hlp me. hopefully il get d job thos. x)) really praying wishing hoping real hard ! really nidda job in d hols. earn more money. fer chirstmas .. n b'daes too. im pretty damn tired dis few daes. donoe why. i can slp fer hours lahs. ytd i slpet frm 5 plus all d wae till d nxt morn. den i woke up at 6am to bathe so dat i haf more time to dry my hair. todae i guess im only free in d afternoon cos i haf tution in d nite. n it owaes ends so late lahs. nvm` i hope my cough will b gone soon. it's gifing me eh headache . blehs * toodles ! :)) hees.

ahhs * todae had eng oral wit mdm repma. lian went out of skul js ta buy smthing n told me she saw irwan. i was lyk .. WHAT ??! i told him to cm at 3pm .nt afta skul . den i tot .. nvm. i felt touched anywaes. cos i din wan him to wait fer very long .. so i js switched wit d very frnt ppl. mdm prema said i did good .. n well done. but js one thing .. i tok to fast. b4 she even said dat i was thinking if she'd sae dat. n yes she did. lols` expected.
n guess wad ? wen i woked outta skul .. he was NOWHERE to be seen ! wanna noe where he went ? to his grdma plc. i wasted my time chgning wit smwan else lahs. nvm . at least he hadda go hme fer a cause. so afta dat he coled me den i went out to mit him agn .
wednesdae my mum's gonna mit me n irwan fer lunch. i donoe whether im scared nervous or happy . i think all lahs. lols` i noe fer sure dat his scared . x)) hahas. TORTURE !!