A smile i fake,
the permenant wave of cue-cards and fix-it kits.
Can't you tell?
I'm not myself


That smile of yours made me so mesmerized.
Oh you got me in between the hello's & goodbye's.
The things you said to me had me doubt you for a little while.
Yet you never fail to lead me back into your presence
Pulling me in all at once.
And yes, i believe you.
If i could turn back time, i'd over-right the mistakes i made with love & care
Each time i think of you, i start remeniscing about our past.
The silly things we did, laughing at each other with content
Shark Tale comes on tv once awhile, reminding me of you
Our first movie watched together.

And now, i'm still waiting.
It doesn't matter how long.
I believe in us, trust me on this.
As long as you and i love each other, i'll be waiting for the right time ..
For you.

Sometimes when you're near,
You always end up closer than close
& That's when i give in



I just walked in the rain! Wheeees* Nothing beats better then walking in the cool rain alone. That's when my true-self comes out. (: Haha. It's raining pretty heavily now.
Firstly, got back CT2 results. Nadine passed everything except Geography! CLAP CLAP* Haha.
Got second in class for Eng. ): So sad la. Just by half mark. Nvm. I'm glad i passed every sub, excluding Geog. (: It's a GREAT GREAT improvement for Nadine okay! So those who are reading my blog, go buy me 2 packets of chocolate Hello Panda as a reward. Haha.

Ate at F & S with Fazlina, Rai, ShiKin, and Kat. That was after our dance rehearsal. Tired seh. The dance is freaking nice uh. The high school musical people are just dancing to one part of it. Still, the whole dance is nice. It's a 5 min dance. Edited music, with different kinds of dance. But most of the dance is hip-hop. And it's UBER AWESOME ! Haha. Tmr there's gonna be another rehearsal again. Alright, before i go, i just wanna say..
Those taking their N levels, do well. Mug hard ! Hnag in there. After your N and O, can PARTAEE !You'll be free as a bird. All the best!
& Those who didn't do well in their prelim N level, don't be dishearten. Pick yourself up, learn from the mistakes you made and study the things you're weak in. So, all the best ! Especially to those taking their O levels. Kind of a crucial year for you guys. (: Smile wide and have a good rest.
To Beloved : I miss you like craaap eh! Never see you for 2 days! Hopefully you'll come school tmr. When you do, i'll hug you uh. Haha. xD

Didn't attend school today. Tmr will be getting my test papers back. Craaap* It's like truth day for me.



I cant say that i havent missed your eyes
Come and smile, please stay here a while,
Come and dance, shuffle with a glance
My stomach still does a little flip everytime i see you.

and that's beauty to me.

Somehow i just miss you so much.
I thought i was doing okay, i thought i was over it
That throbbing pain in my heart comes and goes. But right now, it hurts so much
I'd be lying if i said i'm thinking about you every minute.
Cause it's seconds. Seconds that your face emerges from the back of my mind.
For some reason, i can't wash you out of my mind.

I suppose you don't know the crap i go through.
Still, you're that shining rocker i see in.
Walking pass you at the corridor, i can't help but stare
Oh you got me so mesmerized by your gaze
It's only a matter of time i'll be leaving all this behind.
To a new place, new environment, new things to adapt to.
I wasn't given a chance to choose to stay.

But boy, under that shimmering star, lies a bridge.
That's where i'll be, waiting.
I miss you so dearly.
Oh and,one last thing, 'Je vous aime' .

Brought Scottie to the vet. His got Dermodex. It's something like Mites. And it's like eating him up la. ): His skin is really bad la. His paws all swollen. Then his ears got blood. His body got ALOT of wounds also la. ): Feel so sorry for him. The doctor said some people choose to put the dog down. Meaning sending the dog to heaven. If you know what i mean. Then the second is to put the dog under medication. But it's not curable. The medication is only to control the mites and to make his skin better. And if i put him under medication, every month it's 300 bucks. Then my mum keep wanting to put him down. But i don't want. I held my tears back like crap la. Was so mad at my mum. So now his under medication. If in 2 weeks time he recovers, must bring him back to the vet in 1 month for check up again. Hopefully he really recovers fast !And my mum said we'll decide whether to put him down or not in 1 month. ): I'm not gonna let her put him down la. If i have to pay for his medication i will. I just won't eat or buy anything at all. ): I love my Scottie so much. He always folow me everywhere i go. Always come my room to sleep with me. When i wake up he also wake up. His damn adorable to the core la. His my adorable tiny little boy i love so.







I'll miss squeezing him so tight when i come home, as he waits for me at the door patiently.


























This was taken about 2 months ago.

I wanna sleeeeep ! Haha. Yesterday the moment i got home i had to quickly bath then leave for the airport. Mum came back at 12am. Went with Tash to fetch her. I reached Changi Airport around 8 plus to study with tash. We took some picture there. I love going to the airport. I don't know why, but i just love going there. Haha. Okay enough talking, pictures ! (: Gotta study for combine science for tomorrow's test.






































































































































































Yeah, that's how REATARDED Tash is.

Our bodies to hand with the Jersey shoreline
Connecting the tide to the sand that was dry
And we both laid entwined, stared at the night
Clouds overhead, but that was all right
‘Cause then and there with the wind in your hair
Heaven was jealous to merely look fair against you
And all I need now is for this moon to keep light in its desolate skyline for good

‘Cause these are the nights that you know when you’re there
You couldn’t have planned it much better I swear and you hope
That your senses aren’t failing you now
And you think to yourself now I could be wrong
But I might have just stolen this scene from a song and you know
That your senses aren’t failing you now, but they’re slipping away

So divine is this happening
Can’t I just graze your skin
For the rest of our time
But time isn’t letting this night go on
Till then and there, the wind in your hair
Nothing in this world could keep me from staring at you
And all I need now is for that sun to stay under its glowing horizon for good

Failing you now
You could get lost in a night like this
So empty your thoughts and open your heart to the bliss
These are the nights, these are the nights
These are the nights, these are the nights

Making April

HAPY NATIONAL DAY EVERYONE ! ((:
Haha. It's probably really crowded at marina area. Lol.
Anyway, yesterday had the funfair in school. It was pretty fun! Instead of emceeing with nurul i got carried away with the dunking machine and hardly emceed. Haha. Oh well. I was dunked afew times. Damn fun la. Lol. And the COTTON CANDY !! The queue was pretty darn long la! I didn't wnt to line up at such a long queue. So waited until everyone cleared. Ate the candy floss afew times. Then kenneth gave me a really big one for free!! Wheeeees* Haha. He was doing the cotton candy all the time. He gave me some free cotton candy. Lots of ex FTPSS students came back. And familes and friends came too. Alright, enough of talking.
It's pictures time!






The dunking machine.Looks small but it's big inside.


















Christopher's weird socks he wore to school. Lol.





















The bladers !




















Louis, the FIRST to get dunked !!!! Haha. As you can see, his really wet.
































And me, the second to get dunked.

















The aftermath of getting dunked!

























































































































































































































































AFTER THE FUNFAIR. WENT STEAMBOAT WITH SOFTBALL CLIQUE (: PICTURES AGAIN. xDDD In the 3rd picture, Bandahna was using a lettuce to fan the smoke away. Lol. And the 4th, our steamboat was on fire. Lol.

My daddy got discharged from the hospital yesterday. But he can't move his hands much though.Lol. His singing now la. LOL. Damn funny !!! Don't know whose playing the guitar and his singing. Hahahahahahahaha. OMG! If only i could record what he was singing. His own created song lyrics. Lol. Glad his much better now. But gotta help him in some stuff though.
Anyway, those who read my blog asked about my dad. Thanks for your concern people (: .
The one person i hoped and wished concern from, didn't. ): Nvm. Shit happens.
The dunking machine for the National day funfair arrived today. Freaking small la. It's gonna be the main-biggest attraction. So many students were playing it today. Student cousillors get to be dunked at $2. Selected teachers at $50. Principal at $2000. Haha. Alot huh? Then again, obviously many student cousillors will get dunk. Which is why i gotta bring extra clothes for tomorrow. Am emceeing with Nurul tmr. I like walked around the whole damn school together with Nurul to every class just to explain to them some stuff. Hot like hell la. Today was my last dance lesson, graduation day. Haha. Signing up for the second one.
The auds went pretty well. Didn't get into the dance group, but still it was a great experience. I'll join next year again. The auds were filled with people la. It was cramp and hot !! We were taught a choreograhped dance by Daniel, then after the dance we had to go into another studio by groups of 6 and dance infront of the judges. It was freaky! I did okay for he choreographed dance. But the one after the dance, i screwed up big time! THE FREESTYLE !!! I practically froze there. I didn't know what to do. Was so scared can. Haha.
Oh & .. I saw BELOVED today! Actually she saw me first. We both like "ran" to each other and hugged la. Haha. I think it's my first time hugging beloved. Haha. Really missed her la. (:
But never see daphne today. Boos* I only saw her handwriting everywhere, but not her.

; Point of no return

Gaaahh ! I'm extremely tired. I feel weak. Booos* Was with the clique whole afternoon. Supposed to go swimming with them in the night but couldn't. Cause nik msged me saying my dad was admitted into the hospital. I was like, shocked. I just got back home from the hospital, and it's 12am plus already. Met tash and went down to the hospital. He looked so pale. My dad's treshold for pain is really high. The fact that him being admitted into the hospital, means it must be really bad. He had to wear the thing for his neck. Don't know what it's called. All my relatives were there. After they left me and tash stayed back to accompany him. The doc said his in between good and bad. So currently his under observation. He can't eat any food. His like "paralysed". He can't move his hands and head. I really hope he'll get well fast. Mum went overseas. So home all alone with siblings. Anyway, we talked to him and all. He said something that really made me feel like tearing. He was talking to tash cause i was msging at that time. He said, ' Actually i wanted to bring Nadine to changi beach in the night to watch the planes and boats. Then bring some food to eat and a mat. That was the plan. But i didn't think this would happen.' Then Tash looked up at me and gave the his-so-sweet kinda look. I feel so sorry for him. Like his always trying to help me, always so patient with me and all. Sighs* I do love my father a great deal and i don't wanna keep hurting him by making him worried. ): I just want him to be back home. He was in a 5 car collison accident a few months back. He has been going for checkups. He played Squash with my uncle and nik. And he smashed into the wall. He just laid there and didn't move a single nerve. Nik was shock cause she didn't know what to do. They had to carry him up. Feel so sorry for my dad. He was telling Tash to takecare of me and all. If i could stay there longer to accompany him i definately would. I'll probably wake up really early tmr morning to visit him before going for my dance audition.
Alright. I gotta get going already. Need to practice the dance steps and all. I'm really exhausted. This is how much i'm willing to sacrifice for my passion. Nervous and excited about tmr !

I'm tired !! I've been practicing the dance steps non-stop. I'm really nervous la. I'm going for a dance audition this sunday. The criteria for the dance is a choreogeraphd dance, freestyle, and a dance tt they'll teach and you do on the spot. Wish me all the best !!
NOTE TO DAPHNE: Thanks for helping me with the dance steps and all. Thanks for everything! I LOVE YOU TO THE CORE LA ! Haha.
Yesterday, partially wasn't exactly a good day for me. I had STI with Miss Toh. She talked to me about my family stuff. Won't get so detailed into it. Then later on in the day, Mr Noor came to find me to talk to me. When i saw him outside my class door, i was like ' Crap! Please don't call me.' True enough he did. And even before he spoke i knew what he was gonna say already. I got upset the moment he talked about that thing again. He asked me so many questions. And i wanted to tell him why ask me when obviously i don't know anything. He told me he and Miss Toh talked. And that my dad called Mr Noor and Miss Toh. Miss Toh said she explained to my dad that i'm a good girl in school and as a student counsillor the roles i do and all. And lots of other stuff too. Then Mr Noor said that my dad's really worried about me. Mr Noor obviously talked about that thing only. I literally broke down la. Seriously, i don't like to talk about that. Not that i hate 'im, but cause it's just freaking hurting to the effing core. Yah, i do still love 'im. But honestly i don't know much. Gaaaahh !! I just don't wanna think about it that's all.
After school me and nurul met Mr Logan for the National Day funfair. I hate Mr Logan to the core la. His effing buyas and is a dickhead! Every little negative thing he directed it at me and he gave me the look like i can't do it. He practically looked down on me la wth ! I was so angry la. I was holding back my tears like crap la. Until i couldn't take it i just broke down after i left. Wth la. He said i don't know anything that's going on for the Funfair. I was like, of course i know la. I've been doing so many things, typing out the songs and all and he say i don't know anything. I felt like kicking his egghead! Whatever. Jas, sumi, jh,jp and jolynn did cheer me up after that. Dumbass Logan!! Gaaah* Thaks to the softball clique i got way way much better. We stayed in school till 7pm at Sharon Wong's homeroom. We crapped around alot la. We bought snacks and all. And took funny shots. Haha. They never fail to cheer me up as a whole. (:

Okay gotta go already. Softball clique's gonna come over soon. Till then ..