attended speech day yesterday as i was performing. i performed the high school musical dance. i was so scared before the performance laas. hahas. anyways, it was fun. jac and chloe helped us put on make-up. all the guest started coming in at 6pm. the whole thing started at 7 plus. it started really late laas. then after the VIP arrived, performers went down to the canteen(waiting area) to wait for our turn. my group's the finale. and we waited for hours. cause the performers are catogorised under ' concert' . and before the concert was alot of speeches, and prize giving. after the prize giving, was the concert.
while waiting, performers were taking pictures, eating, and playing around. i took lots of pictures laas. i wasn't that bored as expected. after a long wait, the concert started. one by one all the performers went up. then came ours, the FINALE ! i forgot part of the steps laas. anyways, the worst thing that you ever want to happen during a performance .. is to actually FALL ! the darn carpet was like SO freaking slippery laas. they never tape the carpet properly. the start of our dance, almost all of us nearly trip can. jac really fell. it was embarassing. then again, the whole thing was a success.
speech day ended around 10 plus. all performers went back to their own rooms to change and everything. we had our own rooms laas. felt like a STAR. hahas :)) this year's speech day's really grand. and the NICEST of all too ! i ate at macs with ewan. it was past 11 by then. both of us were dead beat. after eating he send me home and i waited till he got a cab then i left. he went to johor today ): nvm. gonna see him tmr. hees. can't wait.
one person knew me ad irwan were together for really long and asked ' you not bored of the same person meh? ' and this was my reply ' nope. i love him what. ' seriously, if you love someone so much that it's undescribable.. you won't be bored. my longest relationship's 2 years. and in less then 2 months, i was already bored of that guy. somore i didn't really like him after awhile. that goes the same to all my ex-es. i grew bored of ALL of them. but the current one now, NOPE. i never grew bored of him. and why ? . cause i love him so much. every single day, my love for him keeps adding till it's overflowing. and his so sweet laas. that one phrase he said melted my heart for once. this is what he said ' i will quit smoking for you. i don't want our child to get a disease.' please NOTE : when he said ' our child', he means after we get married. i turned away from him and started smiling. he was sitting besdie me you see. so he leaned towards me smiling, making me blush even more. i love him so much.
joy unspeakable.

xDDD

me and shikin




















the lovely people !















the dancers ! :)


me and fazlina




















me and raihanah.

speech day's this coming friday. and i'm kinda nervous. i mean, i'm dancing the high school musical.
somore i just learnt it yesterday. yesterday was the rehearsal. i was plain blur during the run through. but after the last run through, i did better then the last few. hopefully i'll get everything right by friday.
anyways, i met irwan's mum last sunday. got hell of a scolding for coming back late. whatever. his mum's okay laas. it's not my first time seeing or talking to her. but it's the most proper one. so it's more like a first meet-up. irwan was so different laas. infront of his mum his like .. WEIRD. when his with me, he eats properly. but when with his mum, he eats like nobody's business. i was shocked laas. LOLS. still, his still him. sometimes i wonder why he does suff that's either dumb, or just plain weird. but he does make me laugh for the dumbest thing he does or says. (((: and that's what i love about him, partly.

me and irwan quarrelled. ): sighs* during the quarrell, it made me realise his true colours. the way he really is. and i was really shocked. like everything he said to me was just down right mean and he didn't seem like he cared. he was the one at fault. his the one who cancled on me. so he should just give in even if i was angry at him. i have a right to be angry. his like so .. arghhs* whatever.

anyways, i'm in the newspaper ! hahas. WHEEES. i'm the catcher. (((((: but i look dumb. it's yesterday's newspaper. the HOME seciton, on sports. h27. xDDD check it out !
pictures below.

me and irwan's supposed to go out today. he said to meet at 10am. yes i know it's very early. but i don't mind cause it's him i'm meeting. and his the one who chose the timing, and his not even here yet. it's past 12pm already. his so fcuked up lahs. everytime tell me not to be late and he himself can't even be discipline. i hate people who say things and then don't do it. seriously his so toot up lahs. somore i'm stuck with him. his been late more then 10 times. and he just never learns. i'm fcuking sick and tired of his BULLSHIT. sometime someday, it has to END. cause i'm not gonna be some idiot who'll just keep forgiving ad believing the EMPTY promises he makes. it's so frreaking hurting to the core. it just HAS TO END. whatever. just can't stand his fcuking attitude anymore. i've lost my trust in him months ago. now, he just made it even better. i've lost COMPLETE trust on him, so much so that there's nothing he can do to get it back. you don't just get me back. you asked for it, you face it.
he doesn't even take me seriously. the things i do for him behind all this misery. ): sighs* feel like an idiot. i was so cite about meeting him, that i actually bought new clothes, accesories, and even cut my hair. and i even prepared my clothes 2 days ago. i even canceled going out with my friends. we were supposed to go escape. and they even got me the tickets already. if his gonna take me for granted, then forget it. i'm not gonna stick around any longer. cause it's just no point at all. i'm fucking sick and tired of this life i live. it's just so FUCKING PAINFUL to continue like this. what the hell do i have to do to let go. i want to be happy, not depressd all the time !!! it's just not worth it !!!!!!
fuck. i don't even understand why i have to put up with his shit. his NEVER late for his friends. but me, his ALWAYS late. this relationship's not gonna last if this is the way he wants it to be.
))))):

since last monday, it's been nothing but the most magical days i've EVER had with irwan in my whole entire life !! (((: his been so sweet and nice to me. i mean, it has been like my dream come true. i wished for him to treat me better even if it's only for 1 day. i love him so much !! i even saved some money for our future lahs. hees. i know it's dumb, but .. i can't help it. this is how powerful love is. (: i really want to last with him. we've been together for quite long already. his not exactly my longest stead, but his on his way there. going 2 years already. xDDDD i look foward to our future. this saturday we're going to go out together. i'm happy, yes. i just can't wait. it's our first date for this whole year lahs. pathetic. i know.
sighs* but somehow i still feel so empty in the inside, unsatisfied. ): i don't know. like everytime i see irwan, i get SO frigging addicted to him. i will keep looking at him. and when he dissapears all of a sudden, i start looking for him and loose my concentration. i really REALLY love him more then what it seems. his my prince charming. ut better then a prince. i mean, even though he alwas hurts me without realising it, it doesn't mater. cause i do love him. but he didn't come to school today. and i called him last night, he didn't answer his phone. i really REALLY miss him so much that sometimes, it hurts so so much !! i want him to be close to me like before.
that's all i ask for.

today's the start of the homeroom system in school. it's kinda cool lahs. but it seems like majority of the school doesn't like it thoughs. but in m opinion, i think it's fine. except for the fact that i have to carry all my books and everything now. plus since the whole school's not very clear about which classroom is located at, it's kind of messy. knowing me, i have no sense of direction, i HAVE to stick with one of my classmates. has* ((: anyways, it's cool lahs. somore my form class is beside irwan's.
xD HUGE SMILES* hees. happy lahs.

i gave irwan his havanas slippers today. it was kinda small. sighs* everything about him is big. like.. HUGE ! everything i buy's always small. seriously, EVERYTHING.i might wanna buy him another pair of havanas slippers. cause he didn't seem happy that it didn't fit his feet. nvm. next time i'll buy tings that're EXTRA LARGE in size. the crumpler bag i'm gonna go with him to buy this saturday. as long as his happy, it doesn't rally matter how much i spend. i just want him to be happy. and of course, maybe, just MAYBE .. he'll treat me better. (: can't wait to go out with him this saturday thoughs. it's like .. decades since we both went out together. oh & .. his gpnna perform at a gig or something. he asked me to go. 8th of april. it'll be fun watching him perform. never seen him perfrom outside other then school activities. somore it's HARD PUNK ROCK. moshing and all. never been to one. so it'll be intresting to attend one. ((: hees. but that'll mean that i've gotta meet his friends. ): not that i don't like them, but i just feel really uncomfortbale around them. but what the heck. for irwan's happiness and sake, i will. no harm.

watched STOMP THE YARD with daddy at bishan. OMG ! the show's not bad. not much dancing. more like rythm, stoping of feet and clapping of hands and more of breakdancing. bishan changed SO much ! hahas. so cool lahs. the virtual land. but not much intresting games though. some shops changed, some added. kind of cool. anyways, maybe i'll go there someday with him. (:

sighs* ): he did not even come for my match, despite he leaving so near. and he didn't turn up for the buffet lunch toos. ): BOOS* i don't know what's wrong with him lahs. he like always bail on me. everytime we go out, then when go home that time, i have a reason why i always cry or am sad whenever we have to say our goodbyes. because i know that the moment he walks away, it's as if we've broken up. cause it's a clear cut. no communications or anything. ZILCH ! it's like what's the use of being together if there's no freaking communications. no such effing thing. he always give excuses after excuses everytime he doesn't show up or when his late. it's so frustrating lahs. his so irresponsible too. freaking .. arghhs* whatever. i just feel so upset. so what if his busy at that moment ? .. like can't he just call my house. even if he calls, i know it's only twice. if i don't pick up, then he heck care. ):
i didn't play well today. we lost to fajar. 16-17. just by 1 run lahs. ): nvm. i'm more upset about the irwan thing. i saw his friendster last night. his freaking happy. and why ? cause someone bought him a bass guitar. his whole friendster keep saying what.. happy this happy that . aughs* whatever lahs. not my problem. what hurts the most is that he doesn't know i bought him a bass guitar already. he seems happier with his new bass guitar. so, yeahs. just keep it from him lahs.
so many things hidden from him, yet he doesn't know. it's okay. as long as his happy then it doesn't matter whether i'm okay or not.
): whatever. sighs* ):

((: UPDATES ON WHAT HAPPEN FOR THE PAST FEW WEEKS. hees.

firstly, SPORTS DAY. i ran for class mixed, softball girls and mixed. plus i played inter class handball. i was freaking tired lahs. i had to run up and down. cause i was announcing too. anyways, my class got in the finals. then got booted out in the finals. ): nvm. at least softball girls and mixed got FIRST ! whees. we beat OAC !! (((: happy happy. has*
anyways, went shopping with clairs, wanting, russle, and mitchell. LOLS. the mitchell and russle frreaking funny lahs. had loads of FUN ! xD hees. i bought a tee-shirt that said ' DADDY'SLITTLE EXPENSIVE GIRL' so nice right ??! it's so cool lahs. i LOVE it. then i bought a necklace and a havnas slipper. the havanas slipper is SO expensive lahs ! it cost 50 bucks. bought it for ewan. just as a gift. (((: hope he likes it.
tomorrow's the fajar match !! so pressurized man! gotta win this game. it's an important game. if we win fajar, we will still have hope on ging to the second round. but we gotta win fajar and methodist then can go next round! really wanna go next round ! xD HEES. determination.

lovesloves* his always not picking up his darn phone. don't know what the hell his doing. so.. ARGHHHS !! ): BOOS* nvm. whatever lahs. anyways, tmr right after match i've got SOFTBALL BUFFET !! wheeees. BLISS ! (((: can get to see him. he say's his coming to watch my match. DUH* he like lives near fajar sec. he better come to support me. (: i know for sure he'll be going to the buffet.
my wish would be that one day my mummy or daddy would come watch me play. it'll be fun. hahas. HOPES ! xD

PEOPLE, OPEN YOUR EARS WIDE. CAUSE I'M GONNA SREAM !! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHS*

lols. xD hahas. don't worry it's a good scream. hees. i got back my report book. i won't say that i did SO good. but hey ! it's an improvement. at least mdam aini thinks so. (((: smiles*
anyways, last friday had camp. didn't go. so i went for the next day. it's a leadership course. but i didn't stay over. then sunday had another one. it was pretty fun lahs. the course was so-so. cause it was mainly on theory(words). plus the facilitator of my group was freaking irritaiting lahs. can't stand him! LOLS. the course is not bad for an overall rating. (:
last but not least ..

I MISS HIM ! boos* my pretty boy's not picking up his phone. :( sighs*
MISSES*

i'm so pissed with kelvin and haikel. keep saying things about me. as if their're so good. their're both FUCKTARTS. hate them to bits lahs. i'll DEFINATELY take my revenge on them man. trust me i will. i'll do something to them for sure. their're both bastards. one's a poser, the other one's a wannabe AND a big mouth.
anyways, my common test i did not do very well. BOOS* i failed comb humans and science. and failed math. sighs. past the rest. i past only 2 subs lahs. i passed my chem but fail physics. so still considered fail. nvm. i MUST work harder for the following exams. can't slack anymore. and i can't always give into my mood. i know his always making me feel down and up. but i can't rely on him. so, whatever. i still got my friends what .
AND OH !
today felt earthquake in school lahs. so freaky can !! i thought i was the only one who felt it. was so scared. then the whole building was shaking. could see the class moving. i thought i was just feeling giddy. LOLS. so scary. alot of people felt it too.

we're in GOD'S hands.