todae me n jac was d mc fer d briefing of d graduating classes. i was really scared. but den again.. i got over it. x)) it was a great experince . but i din sae much words thos. me n ac will b the prehost fer d grad nite. can't wait lahs ! x)) whees. wen i was toking i was refraining frm luking at irwan. lols` cos i noe dat i will luff :))

im trying real hard to let go . but u're restricting me from doing so. doesn't it eva get to u how hurting it is to cont dis path wif u wen it seems lyk dere's nthing much we can do anymore. smhow sayings n quotes are kinda true if u think abt it. for eg , if u're too close to ur stead, u tend to demand more, u get angry ova small things n strt to quarrel. dtas exactly how we r. don u c it ? wad do i hafta do to open ur eyes ? im a liar i noe. i deceive myself in saying dat i can let go of u, i wan to n all. but honestly, i don't. i can't live w/o u. my life will b a bore w/o u. i wldn'tnoe wadda do w/o u. n to think dat u'd b so dumb to actually believe dat i can live w/o u. i used to hate it or gte angry wen ppl sae dat i surely can't live w/o u. do u noe wad dat is lyk ? to b criticised by ur own frens ova ur own personal life. cos honestly, dat sucks. im trying real hard to get u off my mind. but everytime i do, u cm back haunting me. it's killing me in d inside . it's burning up all my sense of elation. i don't noe wadda do anymore. i've been hinting u abt our relationship going to zilch. but u nvr do tk it seriously do u? it's nt even normal fer one to love anotha in pain . many mnths has oready passed .. wad more do u wan . im not okay . im not .

i haven been on d comp lately. im busy .. busy slping. lols` i on't noe why i kip slping so early. n wen i say early .. it's really damn early. i lyk slp frm 4 plus till nxt morn where i wake up n go to skul. lols` so pig rite ? den wen i wanna do my hmwrk or study.. i can't. cos im slping. gta discipline myself man !! x) anywaes todae went jamming wit e1 frens n all. den went to bishan cos i hadda buy smthing. ended up watching a movie cos he felt weak n it was lyk 5.22pm den. so i bot 2 tickets n wtach " john tucker must die " . d movie strs at 5.20pm. so it was lyk a quick decision. so wen we're watching it'll kip him off his mind frm fd n by d tyme we finish watching it'll b 7 n he can eat. 7.02 d movie ended. d movie rocks. js dat d last prt was kinda awkard. watch it !! it rocks ! x)) anywaes.. dis thurs me n jac gonna breif d upper sec on deir grad nite. how'd i feel ? .. don ask. im scared. scared to death !! so so so so nervous lahs ! ahhs* x)) but happy. nervous. happy nervous. x)

yayness* finally got hold of a job i wanna tk. anyhoos, kaeseven ( i don care,i create my own version ) hlp me. hopefully il get d job thos. x)) really praying wishing hoping real hard ! really nidda job in d hols. earn more money. fer chirstmas .. n b'daes too. im pretty damn tired dis few daes. donoe why. i can slp fer hours lahs. ytd i slpet frm 5 plus all d wae till d nxt morn. den i woke up at 6am to bathe so dat i haf more time to dry my hair. todae i guess im only free in d afternoon cos i haf tution in d nite. n it owaes ends so late lahs. nvm` i hope my cough will b gone soon. it's gifing me eh headache . blehs * toodles ! :)) hees.

ahhs * todae had eng oral wit mdm repma. lian went out of skul js ta buy smthing n told me she saw irwan. i was lyk .. WHAT ??! i told him to cm at 3pm .nt afta skul . den i tot .. nvm. i felt touched anywaes. cos i din wan him to wait fer very long .. so i js switched wit d very frnt ppl. mdm prema said i did good .. n well done. but js one thing .. i tok to fast. b4 she even said dat i was thinking if she'd sae dat. n yes she did. lols` expected.
n guess wad ? wen i woked outta skul .. he was NOWHERE to be seen ! wanna noe where he went ? to his grdma plc. i wasted my time chgning wit smwan else lahs. nvm . at least he hadda go hme fer a cause. so afta dat he coled me den i went out to mit him agn .
wednesdae my mum's gonna mit me n irwan fer lunch. i donoe whether im scared nervous or happy . i think all lahs. lols` i noe fer sure dat his scared . x)) hahas. TORTURE !!

todae was irwan's b'dae . woke up early at 5am. den rched d braddell mrt station at 5.21am. i din noe dat mrt stations open at 6am. d train came at 6.01am. by d tyme i rched he woking to d ang mo kio mrt station alrdy. so i js scared him. he said he gta shock wen he saw me. lols` den we went to tp to eat macs. den afta skul, we went hme to chng den go out agn. bot lotsa things. bot rai's pressie, jh's pressie , louis pressie, n lastly, IRWAN'S PRESSIES !! x) lols` bot fer rai a bus-stop shirt. damn nice ! brown colour wit printings. den fer jh a hairband she wanted. n fer louis a tee. den fer irwan, brot him everywhere to shop. bot him a freshbox tee, a pascade tee, shoe, n a zippo lighter. he was damn happy wen i bot d zippo lighter. he saes he has been wanting it fer years. well, fer all i noe .. i spent more den $200 on him n other pressies. x)) i love him so much !
:)) hahas. lalalas` so tired now sial.

i cut my hair todae ! yeepees* lols. i cut it ard shoulder length. so dats a really BIG difference lahs. cos it's lyk damnn short. but nvm .. it'll grow. i wanna curl my hair afta my final yr xams. my hair will b d perfect length i wan it to be by den. n il curl it. x)) lalalas` tmr's his b'dae. gonna do sm surprises fer him :)) . i feel lyk im more xcited den him. lols` wadeva. gonna wake p at 5am tmr early in d morning. todae tried nt to do anything to quarrell wit him . so i made him luff. hahas. x) can't wait till tmr sial.

YAYNESS* I GOT TO PLAY CATCHER TODAE ! SO HAPPY SIAL ! WHEESX . MY DREAM CM TRUE. COACH GONNA TRAIN ME TO BCM A CATCHER ! WHEESX . HAHAS. I REFUSE TO BELIEVE DAT I AM BLUR !! X))

urghs* smthing wrng wit msn. so irritating lahs. nvm. anyhoos, my oral is postponed to nxt mondae. lalala` happy sial. lols` den somore todae during training, coach lemme be a CATCHER !! ahhs* im so TOOTING HAPPY lahs. hahas. she wans me to train to bcum one. ah .. d moment of bliss has finally cm. my dream has been fulfilled. or rather, on it's way to bcming a perfection. x)) todae we plaed game. den coach ask me to b catcher. train me. den i wear all d guards n stuff. can't breathe lahs. den i was kinda blur lahs. so coach like " scolded " me. im new. so it does tk time :)) . i lyk stink now. hopefully i don get any pimples wearing d catcher's helmet.
HOPEFULLY ! :) yeahs. anywaes,i can't wait till dis cming fridae. cos it's E1's BIRTHDAE ! whheees. lols` i don even noe y im happy wen it's nt lyk my burfdae. but wadeva. cos im going out wit him. n i can wear mynew clothes ! we can go shopping ! wheesx . but sadly, shop fer HIS things. nt mine. it's his dae mahs. hees.

d BBQ fer e1 was successful. :) he had 2 daes. 1 dae fer his malay frens , d other dae fer d softballers. unfortunately i cldn't go on d 1st dae, so .. went on d 2nd dae wit d softballers ! but it was a pretty damn bad dae. it kept raining. i was drenched. n i was tooting cold lahs. but thank God e1 din fall sick :) . rain until so heavy somore. lucky i brot a new chng of clothes. i bathed afta d rain. but by d time i finished bathing almost everywan left. den left me nepalese n e1. den me n e1 went off first. he was really tired. cos he stayed ova nite on d 1st dae . really hope dis yr will b his best yr. a brand new yr :)

fer d pass few daes haf been going out shopping wit my mum, eating at expensive restaurants. lols` poshh daes. x)) bot lotsa stuff. mum bot lotsa things fer me, sisters n bro. she bot fer me afew clothes frm U2, chade, abrcreme n frigde .. all dese brands r really ex. she bot me a pair of shoes too. love it . love everything she bot fer me :)) smiles* lalala`
e1's b'dae is cming soon. fridae. going out with him to celeb with him. really hope dat he will chng n mean wadeva he saes strting frm 15 sept . a new fresh strt. x)

lalala` so happy. his really chnging . x) went out wit him todae. watched the devil wears prada . really nice show lahs. hees. all dat matters is dat at least i got to spent time wif him. dats wad mtters to me d most ! lalalas*

smhow i don even noe y im so hurt by dis even tho it doesn't really lyk concern me. im shocked yes. i used to haf d belief dat dere's no such things as bestfrens. i nvr did haf wan until sec skul. i only counted my frens as close or good frens. nvr listed as bestfrens . rite now, i rather stick to my belief . cos smhow i now noe dat it's true. wadeva. i choose to believe in dat n dat'll nvr chng. i may b offensive, but u asked fer it. i hate it wen ppl ignore me. if u don wanna tok to me cos of smthing , den js sae so. don do it w/o telling me. put urself into d shoes of d person u're ignoring b4 u do it to em. getta taste of how sucky it feels lyk . wadeva. i can't b bothered anymore.

just came back frm the leadership course camp . it was not bad lahs. it was kind of like a review to me cos at LTC camp we were already being taught most of the things. it was quite fun . i was so tired lahs. towards d nite denw as even more xciting but scary. cos basically mr loh were telling us scary stories n afta dat we went up to d AVA rm abt 10pm+ to watch incredible tales. wen mr loh said we were gonna watch incredible tales, i tot it was dat cartoon movie. so dumb lahs. lols` n somore i hate to watch scary movies. im d type dat'll freak out n it'll stick to my mind which adds on more to my fears. i din watch d scray parts lahs. i sat bside jac den i moved to d seat bhind to sit wit irfan n justin cos i was scared. den weneva d scary prt cming irfan wld tell me not to luk. hahas. den my grp was being coled out . we wore blindfolders n took a pen n candle. dey blindfolded us n seperated us ech on d way. we took out our blind folds, dey lit our candle, n started writing out wad we'd learn today. i cldn't even c wad i was writing. i was scared. hahas. den cos i wrie finish alrdy so i dcided to burn my paper. but not d wordslahs. but sadly wen dey moved me n qian yin tgth in a loo alone sitting in d dark, i accidentaly burnt a hole inside my paper. den i was bored so decided to tk qy's paper n burnt. lols` lame lahs inoe. i was bored lahs. hahas. second dae, in d nite dey blindfolded us inside d bus n we hadda listen to incredibla tales. to watch, listen. every counsillor can only sit at 1 seat ech. no counsillor ms b seating bside us. d aircon was rite above us n dey blasted it. so cold lahs. somore d journey dere was like so long. lols` den wen we rched we took out our blindfolds. guess where were we at ? .. old changi hospital. it was so so damn dark. we hadda get a torchlite. it was so scary. woked in as a grp n in pairs. jac n i hold hands. she made me scared wen she scream. i was luffing. kinda funny lahs. den afta dat we woked to change village to eat. hahas. so cool lahs. d last dae d facilitators cry n sm of d jnr counsillors oso cry. hahas. so touching. x)) d camp rox. den afta d whole i thing i went to meet MY dear dear !! he so swit lahs ! he waiting outside skul, dat i knew. he bot me mars bar choc n M&Ms ! big big packet. den he somore bot me a B.U.M sleeveless top . LOVE it !! i was so happy ta c him . i hugged him. hahas. love him to bits. x)) lalala`